im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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