Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
