is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
