so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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