Sry I called you an 8
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
