this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
