i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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