You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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