I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
