I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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