I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
