So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
