My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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