dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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