I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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