Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Even my vagina gasped.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
