he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
