Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
