Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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(408): View more from California

i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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(317): View more from Indiana

my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

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(256): View more from Alabama

All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

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(512): View more from Texas

She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.

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