I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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