I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
