WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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