clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
