how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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