I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
