I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
