so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
