Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
