No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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