hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize