oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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