no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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