i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
