she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
