I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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