what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
