Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
