I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
