ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
