apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
