just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
