I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize