Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
