I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You're like the curious george of whores
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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