i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I deserve this hangover.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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