No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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