Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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