not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
