Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
