My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
