just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
