u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I want a musical about memes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
