FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
