should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
