Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize