is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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