GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
