Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize