I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
